Often, players confuse modern legal situations for honor, and start arguing "right and wrong" with the storyteller. While appropriate to their character's reasoning, they do not define the society of the North. Instead, Honorable is essentially defined as "living in a manner open to the repercussions of their actions"while dishonor is attempting avoid the consequences. Lying is wrong, not because it can hurt someone else, but because it hides one's intentions and prevents others from acting against you. The Neizjet defines appropriate interactions, not because it guarantees that people behave, but rather because it describes what an individual is due.
In order to demonstrate that... consider these scenarios...
Burgred has a coin purse. Oswulf wants it, goes up to Burgred, tells him that he's going to take it, then kills Burgred in front of his family and takes his purse.
In this case, Oswulf has done absolutely nothing dishonorable. He neither hid his action (allowing Burgred's kin to track him down and kill him) nor denied Burgred the opportunity to defend himself. This is not an honor violation.
Burgred drops his coin purse. Oswulf finds it, picks it up and takes it.
This is an Honor 8 violation. Oswulf knows those aren't his coins... he's neither given his submission nor geld for them, and he did not earn it. While it is not a grievous violation, he cannot be trusted to protect another's property in a consequence free environment.
Burgred has a coin purse. Oswulf walks up, threatens his life, and demands the purse... which Burgred hands over.
Burgred has committed an Honor 5 violation... he didn't defend his property... therefore he cannot be trusted to have any. His actions mark him as someone who will cause others to do violence for him, and that he values his life more than his honor.
In order to demonstrate that... consider these scenarios...
Burgred has a coin purse. Oswulf wants it, goes up to Burgred, tells him that he's going to take it, then kills Burgred in front of his family and takes his purse.
In this case, Oswulf has done absolutely nothing dishonorable. He neither hid his action (allowing Burgred's kin to track him down and kill him) nor denied Burgred the opportunity to defend himself. This is not an honor violation.
Burgred drops his coin purse. Oswulf finds it, picks it up and takes it.
This is an Honor 8 violation. Oswulf knows those aren't his coins... he's neither given his submission nor geld for them, and he did not earn it. While it is not a grievous violation, he cannot be trusted to protect another's property in a consequence free environment.
Burgred has a coin purse. Oswulf wants it, goes up to Burgred on an abandoned street, then kills Burgred and takes his purse.
This is an Honor 6 violation. Why? Because he is hiding his crime and minimizing the consequences. This is more dangerous than the actual crime, because there's no way to punish it. Still, Burgred has a fighting chance, meaning it's not quite a craven act.
Burgred has a coin purse. Oswulf walks up, threatens his life, and demands the purse... which Burgred hands over.
Burgred has committed an Honor 5 violation... he didn't defend his property... therefore he cannot be trusted to have any. His actions mark him as someone who will cause others to do violence for him, and that he values his life more than his honor.
Burgred has a coin purse. Oswulf wants it, creeps up on Burgred in his sleep, kills him, and steals it.
The reason this is an Honor 4 violation is because Burgred was never given the chance to defend himself. It's not wrong to take Burgred's life... it's wrong to deprive him the opportunity of killing you.
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